itchin for a fix


I loathe shopping for clothes. Between taking off 20 layers of winter clothes for a pair of pants that doesn’t fit (they must run small) and the hellish lighting in the dressing rooms, it’s a wonder we all don’t resign to living life naked.

For Michael, he chooses not to live naked for the sole reason that his clothes—more specifically, his boxers—serve as a gauge for the fun in his life. The other morning, I got out a pair of boxers for him to wear. It was a Tuesday, and the boxers were blue. He looked at me all serious, and says, “I can’t wear those, I need a pair of white.” I asked why. His response: “I wear white boxers on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Because when I put on fun boxers on Thursday and Friday, I know I’m getting closer to the weekend.” I shit you not. That is real life.

So a few weeks ago, when I got the itch for a new piece of clothing, but didn’t want to subject my seasonal depression to the should-be-illegal dressing room mirrors, I decided to check out Stitch Fix. It’s basically like ordering a surprise box of clothes to your doorstop. Who doesn’t love packages…and surprises? Here’s how it works: you fill out the Stitch Fix Style Profile, which includes your style, budget, sizes etc. Then a personal stylist handpicks a selection of five clothing items and accessories unique to your profile. You receive the five products in the mail, try them on, buy what you like, and return what you don’t like.


I must admit, though, I wasn’t sure what to expect my first time. Especially because I really don’t know my sizes. I’m that girl who uses her 5-item max per dressing room with 5 different sizes of the same item. I even had to ask my friend if my legs were “short” or “average”. She said short. I put average. Lying never felt so good.

When the box came, here is what was inside:

Oh wait. I’m a technological dumbass who tried to upload the pictures of the items last night, only to have somehow reset my phone to my 2013 phone. No joke—all my pictures, gone. All my texts, gone. But don’t worry, I had 738 pictures of preschool children and tons of trivial texts to relive from 2013—and delete manually. (Side note: I am not a pedophile. I used to teach preschool.) Why is technology so backassward? Like, how are you going to save the Chipotle order I texted in March 2013 but not the picture I took two days ago? UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

So bear with me now. This is where your imagination comes in.

Item One: Close your eyes. Now imagine a linen button down. Great job.

Item Two: Distressed black jeans—which may or may not have become even more distressed from my heel getting stuck in the “distressed” knee

Item Three: Gold necklace—No need to imagine, you’ve seen it everywhere.

Item four: Navy and white stripped dress. Let’s just say, horizontal stripes don’t have a bad reputation on average short people for nothing…

Item five:


Whoa, what’s that? a picture! Which I am able to share with you because I bought it. While it was the only thing that I bought, I also really liked the black jeans, the gold necklace, and the linen shirt. The only reason I didn’t buy them is because I have similar items. And the dress wasn’t ugly. It just didn’t look good on me. All in all, I thought it was a great first box and am looking forward to ordering another box down the road when another itch comes all itchin on me.

So, if you are like me, and have developed a strong aversion to clothes shopping—or you need some fun in your life, fun that wearing colored underwear can’t fix—check out Stitch Fix.

Shameless plug: if you do try to it out, please use my reference code, so I get a discount.

**Disclaimer: For the integrity of this blog, I emailed Stitch Fix to try to get a list of the items in my box, so I could get pictures from the individual companies. Well, wouldn’t you know, Stitch Fix doesn’t keep the records…So basically these pictures will truly be the only things ever completely erased from my digital trail. Dangit. I woulda preferred 2006-2010.